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intricatemirage's journal
You are viewing intricatemirage's journal
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intricatemirage's Journal  There is no comfort in loneliness. Yet there has been no comfort in mankind either. A year and a half here, two and a half years with you, I am defeated. Last post - Thanks for reading guys, whoever's been reading. Think I'll shut this blog down. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong. 
I'm quite sure now, that I've seen the most beautiful woman on campus. Not hot. Not sexy. Not pretty. Not drop dead gorgeous. Just. Beautiful. I'm quite sure she stays down the road, at Connaught Hall. Current mood: geeky. I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well I wanna hold you high and steal your pain ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open And I don’t feel like I am strong enough ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away The worst is over now and we can breathe again I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight I wanna hold you high and steal your pain ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open And I don’t feel like I am strong enough ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away pissed off.. ok right now i'm just pissed off. fucked up day. "There's some things in this world You just can't change Some things you can't see Until it gets too late" "Some things in this world They don't make sense Some things you don't need Until they leave you And they're things that you miss" "Baby, baby, baby When all your love is gone Who will save me From all I'm up against out in this world Maybe, maybe, maybe You'll find something That's enough to keep you" Matchbox 20 - Bright Lights Some people are just so fucking irritating and annoying. Fuck off and get a life you little bitches. Matchbox 20 - If You're Gone I think I've already lost you I think you're already gone I think I'm finally scared now You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong I think you're already leaving Feels like your hand is on the door I thought this place was an empire But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure I think you're so mean - I think we should try I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - I think too much I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home Cuz there's a little bit of something me In everything in you I bet you're hard to get over I bet the room just won't shine I bet my hands I can stay here I bet you need - more than you mind I think you're so mean - I think we should try I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - that I know too much I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home Cuz there's a little bit of something me In everything in you I think you're so mean - I think we should try I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home Cuz there's a little bit of something me In everything in you Current mood: indifferent. |
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